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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a metaphor depicting the end of times in the New Testament. They describe conquest, war, hunger, and death respectively. We use this metaphor to describe communication styles that, according to Gottman research, can predict the end of a relationship. 1. Criticism.
In his “Love Lab” Research, John Gottman identified four traits that could predict with a 90% success rate whether or not a couple would stay together. He would go on to name these four traits the “Four Horsemen”.
The Four Horsemen & Their Antidotes worksheet summarizes each of the damaging behaviors and their healthy replacements in a simple, easy-to-follow format. The descriptions include enough information to serve as a reminder or quick reference without being overwhelming.
Researcher Dr. John Gottman named “four horsemen of the apocalypse,” which are four behaviors that are especially damaging to our relationships. The four horsemen are: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling. Read more about each, including definitions and examples here: https://www.gottman.
GENTLE START UP. Talk about your feelings using “I” statements and express a positive need. BUILD CULTURE OF APPRECIATION. Remind yourself of your partner’s positive qualities and find gratitude for positive actions. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. Accept your partner’s perspective and offer an apology for any wrongdoing. PHYSIOLOGICAL SELF-SOOTHING.
26 kwi 2013 · If you don’t, you risk serious problems in the future of your relationship. But, like Newton’s Third Law, for every horseman there is an antidote, and you can learn how and when to use them below. You can download a free PDF version of the The Four Horsemen and Their Antidotes here.
FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE The four attitudes that most predict the dissolution of a relationship, especially in combination, are criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling (in order of least to most dangerous). Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist at the University of Washington, studied more than 2,000 married couples over two decades.
