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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a metaphor depicting the end of times in the New Testament. They describe conquest, war, hunger, and death respectively. We use this metaphor to describe communication styles that, according to Gottman research, can predict the end of a relationship. 1. Criticism.
The Four Horsemen & Their Antidotes worksheet summarizes each of the damaging behaviors and their healthy replacements in a simple, easy-to-follow format. The descriptions include enough information to serve as a reminder or quick reference without being overwhelming.
GOTTMAN’S FOUR HORSEMEN. In his “Love Lab” Research, John Gottman identified four traits that could predict with a 90% success rate whether or not a couple would stay together. He would go on to name these four traits the “Four Horsemen”.
FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE The four attitudes that most predict the dissolution of a relationship, especially in combination, are criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling (in order of least to most dangerous). Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist at the University of Washington, studied more than 2,000 married couples over two decades.
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The Four Horsemen. And How to Stop them With their Antidotes. The Gottman Institute. Horsemen. Antidotes. Explanations. 1. Criticism. The Antidote to Criticism: Gentle Start-Up. A complaint focuses on a specific behavior, but criticism attacks a person’s very character.
THE FOUR HORSEMEN AND HOW TO STOP THEM WITH THEIR ANTIDOTES CRITICISM Verbally attacking personality or character. CONTEMPT Attacking sense of self with an intent to insult or abuse. DEFENSIVENESS Victimizing yourself to ward off a perceived attack and reverse the blame. STONEWALLING Withdrawing to avoid conflict and convey
