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Antidote: “I’m feeling left out of our talk tonight and I need to vent. Can we please talk about my day?” Notice that the antidote starts with “I feel,” leads into “I need,” and then respectfully asks to fulfill that need. There’s no blame or criticism, which prevents the discussion from escalating into an argument.
Read each statement and fill in the appropriate TRUE or FALSE bubble. 1. I feel attacked or criticized when we talk about our disagreements. 2. I usually feel like my personality is being assaulted. 3. In our disputes, at times, I don’t even feel like my partner likes me very much. 4.
26 kwi 2013 · You can download a free PDF version of the The Four Horsemen and Their Antidotes here. A complaint focuses on a specific behavior, but criticism attacks a person’s very character. The antidote for criticism is to complain without blame by using a soft or gentle start-up.
The first step in effectively managing conflict is to identify & fight The Four Horsemen when they arrive in your conflict discussions. Below are the antidotes for fighting off The Four Horsemen in your relationship.
For each horsemen, there exists an “antidote” - a skill you can utilize in conflict with your partner in order to counteract the impact of one of the horsemen or in order to prevent it from coming up altogether. The more you practice these antidotes, the better your conflict resolution skills will become!
recognize the Four Horsemen and do their best to avoid them. The following pages describe each of the Four Horsemen and alternative positive ways of interacting, called “antidotes.”
THE FOUR HORSEMEN AND HOW TO STOP THEM WITH THEIR ANTIDOTES CRITICISM Verbally attacking personality or character. CONTEMPT Attacking sense of self with an intent to insult or abuse. DEFENSIVENESS Victimizing yourself to ward off a perceived attack and reverse the blame.
