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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a metaphor depicting the end of times in the New Testament. They describe conquest, war, hunger, and death respectively. We use this metaphor to describe communication styles that, according to Gottman research, can predict the end of a relationship. 1. Criticism.
GOTTMAN’S FOUR HORSEMEN. In his “Love Lab” Research, John Gottman identified four traits that could predict with a 90% success rate whether or not a couple would stay together. He would go on to name these four traits the “Four Horsemen”.
The first step in effectively managing conflict is to identify & fight The Four Horsemen when they arrive in your conflict discussions. Below are the antidotes for fighting off The Four Horsemen in your relationship.
FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE. The four attitudes that most predict the dissolution of a relationship, especially in combination, are criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling (in order of least to most dangerous). Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist at the University of Washington, studied more than 2,000 married couples over two decades.
THE FOUR HORSEMEN. AND HOW TO STOP THEM WITH THEIR ANTIDOTES. CRITICISM. Verbally attacking personality or character. CONTEMPT. Attacking sense of self with an intent to insult or abuse. DEFENSIVENESS. Victimizing yourself to ward off a perceived attack and reverse the blame. STONEWALLING.
John Gottman’s FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE. 1. Criticism: Attacking your partner’s personality or character, usually with the intent of making someone right and someone wrong: Generalizations: “you always...” “you never...”“you’re the type of person who ...” “why are you so ...” 2. Contempt: .
26 kwi 2013 · But, like Newton’s Third Law, for every horseman there is an antidote, and you can learn how and when to use them below. You can download a free PDF version of the The Four Horsemen and Their Antidotes here.
